MY JOLLY DOG

Tonight I only fed 3 dogs.

The irony of today is that she really didn't look poorly, having had a bad back for the past year or so she managed to climb up and down the stairs like a puppy today. She still had a glossy coat and a sparkle in her eye and was still greeting visitors at the door with a waggy tail. As always she was so excited to see the lead and go for a ride in the car.

It's especially hard, today of all days as it's the fourth anniversary of my Mum's death and as if that weren't enough, Jolly is the dog we shared.

She was only 10 and that doesn't seem old enough but the vet reassured me that further treatment would only add days or a week or two, it wouldn't change the prognosis just extend the time. That didn't seem fair to Jolly. The vet and his staff were excellent and very kind to both of us, it must be a horrid part of their job but they made it as easy as possible for us.

A rotten day, but days like today shouldn't be easy when it's about something you love.

I miss her. I will miss her turning circles with excitement, rounding the others up at bedtime, assuming its bedtime when I put my shoes on or when she heard the Windows log-off music, I will miss her optimistically waiting by the biscuit cupboard or bothering when other dogs are shut the wrong side of a door, but most of all I will miss following me from room to room and settling within touching distance, I will miss her just not being there.