NIGHT AND DAY WITH ALICE

I hardly slept last night.

I've resolved to try and get to bed earlier (as I have a guarenteed alarm clock!)

Last night I managed to turn the light off just after 11pm, that's early these days, I fell asleep fairly easily but then woke just over an hour later. I'd forgotten to make a phonecall earlier in the evening and found myself wide awake remembering at a time when it was impossible to act on it. I tried lying quietly, I watched a little TV, tried lying quietly again, after several hours I got up and made a PE bag for Alice (whole 'nother post!), eventually I went back to bed, nearly 5 hours after I'd woken, which made for a sore head and a grumpy me! I turned off the early alarm and slept til 7:30, Alice didn't make any noise til I got up, but that's fairly standard.

Breakfast was a challenge, I was grumpy and Alice was off-form. She started to eat and then refused her usual 2 W*eetabix and ended up eating 3 fruit pouches instead. I thought that she felt a bit warm but she didn't complain. She was slightly tearful going into nursery - which is highly unusual for her new school.

When I collected her she complained that she was feeling cold (despite wearing tights, normal uniform, hoodie and fleecy coat), she wasn't keen to talk and when we called in at my school she didn't want to interact at all. We came home and she want to curl up with Mummy and a blanket on the sofa - a nice cuddle but not usual, by 6pm 1 cheek was rosy and she definitely had a temperature and despite choosing her supper she only ate a few bites.

I think that my baby is poorly.

EYES

Alice had her first eye test today. She was quite good and the optician said (like most toddlers) that she is slightly long-sighted, can focus well and all is fine (as much as they can tell at this age)!

THE WORST NEWS OF THE DAY

I'm streaming . . . welcome to the Hayfever Season . . . back to my sponsored seat at the GP's soon!

PINCESS AND THE ROAR

. . . Alice declared me a 'Pincess!' as I walked downstairs. I was wearing my pink nightie at 4pm, feeling more like a dragon than a princess - my tummy is aching again and now my head is too.

Before 10am this morning I could hear engines revving and screeching, many engines, going on and on and on. A neighbour was having a motorcross rally. He didn't warn any of the neighbours. The noise went on until after 6pm. A beautiful spring day ruined by noise pollution.

I'm hoping for a peaceful day tomorrow. Alice wants to make blueberry muffins.

A SANDWICH!

I felt rotten this morning but my digestion seemed better so I dragged myself up (Alice was up twice last night - her sleep is worse now than at any time in the first year home). Alice was awake early too.

I'd rung work yesterday to warn them that I was feeling pretty dreadful and might not make it in today, the message changed like Chinese Whispers so by this morning they weren't expecting me and were slightly surprised when I walked in! I kept to my bananas and plain biscuit diet at school and when I came home I found myself making a sandwich before I realised how much better I felt! Nana also commented how much better I was looking this afternoon, phew! Despite feeling like a different person to yesterday I've still curtailed my plans for this weekend, so my shopping spree will have to wait until next week and I hope that I'll have time to work on my letter to Thailand.

Meanwhile Alice was pretty grumpy this morning and Nana reported that she was quite clingy all morning - needing lots of cuddles and stories to keep her going. C (T's younger son and one of Alice's favourite people) was here when I got home from school and they were having great fun in the garden - on the swing and in her car, they play beautifully together.

NURSERY AND SO ON

Alice started to cry on the doorstep. I kept up my sing-song jolly voice and kept reminding her about the sticker if she didn't cry. She was OK on the journey and the way into nursery, she began to lose it when we got into her room so I made a swift exit and they found the sticker! She was fine all day and delighted to see me this evening.

I spent the day asleep on the sofa - my tummy's still bad and I've warned school that I might not be in tomorrow. I meant to get my letter to Thailand finished today, it will have to wait until Sunday at the earliest now, oh well.

AND SHE'S NOT A TEENAGER FOR OVER TEN YEARS?

Alice slept until after 9:30 this morning, so long that I was up and doing chores, worrying that something was wrong - I studied the (video) monitor closely until I could see her twitch!

With today's plans cancelled we had a slow morning, not coming downstairs again until after 11am, late breakfast, late lunch, no nap (she just didn't seem tired) and a companionable afternoon. I needed her to have a quiet day - intimidated at the thought of D or V when out and about, not wanting to spread her bug and hoping that a quiet day would speed along her recovery. Without graphic details she seemed better all day, but the nappy after supper makes me wonder (better but not right).

This is day 6, day 6! I'm sick of her being sick, sick of serving meals with no dairy, sick of the side-effects of sickness, sick of staying in, sick of cancelling fun plans and I'm not even the one going through it. Meanwhile I'm very aware that this is just a drop in the ocean compared to what some are going through but it's still making me feel like the walls are closing in.

QUIET DAY

Alice still isn't well.

I called nursery first thing this morning to tell them of yesterday's events and explain her absence. I spent the morning cooking but otherwise it was quiet but with 1 nasty nappy. I was being careful with what she was eating so gave her scrambled eggs and toast for lunch, she didn't eat much (most unusual when well). Then she slept for over 2 hours, again very unusual. She was quiet this afternoon - happy to sit and watch a film and then cuddle for as many stories as I would read before another simple meal which she didn't eat much of.

I was supposed to have a friend visit for lunch, but we decided to postpone due to Alice's illness. Now I've also cancelled tomorrow's plans for meeting Grandad and Co and GMJ. Delaying or cancelling social plans isn't the end of the world but I really hope that she starts to feel better. When Alice sees the medicine ('Edsum!') she declares it, 'Make it ALL better!' Let's hope that it does.

ALICE'S ILLNESS CONTINUES

We had to stay in today to wait for a D*H*L delivery, it was here at 8am but even so I had decided that Alice needed a quiet day.

Just to recap:
Sunday - V during supper
Monday - hungry for breakfast, D in the morning
Tuesday - no appetite for supper followed by serious D

This morning she wanted W*eetabix for breakfast - that's her new breakfast of choice for the past 6 weeks or so (she hasn't had such a firm choice or a choice for so long, breakfast has always been iffy til now). Through the morning she was OK and asked to play games (dominoes and pop it in the post), she didn't have much of an appetite for lunch (stew and mash, mash is always a favourite). She slept well and I woke her after 2 hours, that always makes her grumpy. She wasn't interested in choosing her supper, had a last minute nappy change and then I sat her in her highchair, turned my back to 'dish up' and heard her vomit, no warning it just happened. So I cleared up and then offered her dry biscuits which she seemed keen on but then just played with.

Bedtime was whiney and tears threatened, yet another sign that Alice isn't well but with nearly 24 hours between the last 2 events she isn't quite poorly either. I was due to have a friend over to have lunch while Alice was at nursery tomorrow and we're both supposed to go to Wiltshire for lunch on Friday. Alice definitely won't be going to nursery tomorrow and I'm rather dubious that my other plans will happen either.

D AND V

***Graphic post***

Alice usually vomits immediately after (or towards the end of) a meal and usually its preceded by loud, sporadic burps.

During Sunday's supper the burps started, but her appetite was fine but halfway through her mouse she vomited several times over the course of a minute or so. It's quite forceful but calm - a strange combination. Afterwards she thought that she was hungry and she had a temperature, but after medicine she didn't really eat anything.

She hadn't had a nap on Sunday (as L and her family arrived at lunchtime and it seemed cruel for Alice to be in bed missing playtime now she's old enough to miss the occasional nap), so she went to sleep very quickly in the evening. On Monday morning she seemed fine and within minutes of waking she was demanding, 'Supper!' She ate well but then had a bad nappy - but with no other signs of grumpiness or illness - though she did take L's family departure hard.

Today she's been great, she kept going while we were shopping, tolerated waiting longer than I would have chosen for lunch and then more shopping, once we were back in the car to travel home she fell asleep quickly. Waking up when we got home was hard with quite a bit of crying, not being happy at anything and nothing was right. I couldn't get her interested in supper but I cooked a nutritious meal (after a dismal lunch), Alice picked the cheese out and ignored the veggie sauce and pasta - burping several times so I didn't push the food. She continued to be grumpy but grudgingly accepted some jelly - by then I just wanted her to have some energy inside her or something to be sick on. She wasn't sick but had a dreadful nappy - it changed our plans for the early evening and necessitated an emergency bath and the binning of her vest, ugh!

She was happy to snuggle and watch the end of A*laddin in 'Mummy's bed' but was very cross to be put to bed in her cot. 45 minutes later she started to cry and eventually ended up in the 'Big Girl's Bed' (BBG) in her room. I snuggled with her for a while but she was so grumpy that she wasn't really consoled by my presence. After a little soft crying she eventually fell asleep.

We have to stay home tomorrow to wait for a parcel to be delivered - the duvet for the BBG! I think it's a good thing that we'll be having a quiet day.

WE'RE A PAIR!

Alice cried immediately that I put her in her cot on Sunday night, she calmed eventually but I never discovered the problem. She then cried out at some point in the night (too tired to check) and would not be comforted, just continued to sob and call for 'Mummy's bed,' I gave in and then neither of us slept much until I got tough and put her back in her cot (I think it was several hours later), she cried the cross cry for less than 3 minutes and then slept peacefully until I had to wake her.

I'd set the alarm clock in time to remember the doctor's phone number and be ready to phone when they opened at 8.30 - I wanted appointments for both of us and was offered 9:10 and 9:20 - only 40 minutes to get us both up, washed, dressed, fed and there (as well as mucking out and feeding Pud), we did it and then had to wait a few minutes before seeing Dr P (always makes me smile - the rush to get there on time and then the time to calm down as they always run late!!) (But I also have to acknowledge how great my surgery are - virtually always getting an appointment for the next surgery and to see the doctor you request AND everyone is friendly and supportive).

I went for a consultation about my rotten hands - the skin's still falling off, they're not as bad as they were but then they're not recovering very quickly so there's not that much area of my palms that could be affected! The pills I'd be given 4 weeks ago had run out, I now have another 4 weeks supply - as they've proved to be the effective solution to me. I was also offered a referral to a rheumatologist, I checked and the doc meant DERMatologist!

I took Alice to be checked as she's had a cold continuously for nearly a month and she's been quite cranky (usually a sign of illness).

The result? We both have chest infections (I'd had my suspicions but neither of us were that poorly, but then we weren't recovering either), we both have different versions of the same antibiotics and they've had the same effect on our digestive systems! I'm hoping that by both being on a similar regime that I'll remember to dose us both and that we'll both be feeling much better very soon!

SHE MAY STILL BE SMALL

. . . but the wind is crippling!

Pudding looks round in disgust . . . if she's awake, but if she's asleep . . . she sleeps through it! I can't even freshen up with air-freshener as I'm allergic to it - the final irony!

I SHOULD BE COOKING . . .

. . . but I needed to blog that Alice is still poorly with a rattly chest, streaming nose and a very short fuse, joy!

Meanwhile my hands are still rotten and mouldy - I know eczema doesn't sound that serious but when it was first diagnosed in Summer 06 I ended up in hospital and it's had life changing effects, including paranoia about avoiding perfume and all things containing perfume.

Most of the presents are wrapped. The remaining jobs are mostly cooking or food preparation, including cake, stuffing and a pudding for Christmas Day.

CHRISTMAS IS COMING . . .

. . . and Alice is sick! Typical!!

She was quite naughty when GFW, Aunty J and baby L were here on Saturday afternoon. She vomited during supper while D, D and A were here that evening and then had a hoarse voice for the rest of the night.

We had a quiet day yesterday so it wasn't quite so evident that she was off colour.

Today she woke crying around 6am, ugh. I brought her into my bed and she wombled without settling for 40 minutes or so before I offered medicine, 20 minutes later she was fast asleep again - that's very unusual, she slept for over 2 hours and didn't wake while I made and answered phone calls. She didn't sleep after lunch, hardly surprising after the long lie in this morning and was grouchy all afternoon.

Late this afternoon we both visited our lovely GP. As I thought Alice has a chest infection. She's got a 5 day course of antibiotics. The rot on my palms is getting worse, the ointment from 2 weeks ago hasn't helped so now I'm trying strong steroids and praying that if it is eczema that it doesn't get any worse - the Magnificent T was jokingly asking if Alice gets to open her pressies on the 25th if I'm in hospital - I didn't think it was funny and had a Scrooge moment (my hands aren't really that bad but even the GP is taking it seriously). I'm trying not to worry about it because worrying makes the eczema worse!

3 sleeps to Christmas - not ready, not bothered and not really excited.
8 sleeps to Pudding - nearly ready and very excited!

BLOOD PRESSURE!

This morning we went back to T T the music and drama group. Alice was told the sanctions if she was naughty and told what I expected of her, I reinforced through the session and she was very good - I told her that too, several times.

This afternoon I had my medical for Little Sis's Adoption application. My GP was extremely good and allayed many fears. If it's anything that will derail this application it's the medical, I was awake from 3am worrying. After the medical I went to get straightened out at the osteopath's.

When I got home the drive was level, the gravel was mucky but back where it should be, the hole was gone and the digger was being reloaded. Mains water is back at CBH!!

Stressed, today I was stressed, I managed not to show Alice too much I hope. Tonight my blood pressure (which was incredibly normal given my emotions) must be exceptionally low as so much stress has been relieved.

2 YEAR CHECK

A different Health Visitor came to see us for Alice's 2 year check. We live on the boundary so it seems that we go to U for injections and medical HV stuff, but A cover us for the developmental aspects. It's been well blogged that I don't much like the HV in U. The new HV was delightful.

She didn't do any of the expected tests - moving blocks, building a tower etc. She chatted to me and watched Alice and then she told me her development was satisfactory (the top grade, just like education they need to reconsider the names of their grading!) and that she thought that her speech - clarity and vocabulary was significantly ahead of her chronological age. I think that's pretty amazing given that she's been hearing English for less than 70% of her life).

I warned her in advance that I would like Alice to be weighed and measured as well. At just under 2 years 1 month (the visit was last Tuesday, 11th November) Alice was 16.3kg (91%) and 93cm (98%) - I'm happy that relatively she's taller than her weight and that the percentiles haven't changed significantly. Looks like she's going to be a tall lady, taller than her Mummy!

TIRED

. . . Alice's still not well . . . not ill, but not well either . . . nappy rash is still there, better but still looks sore . . . her tummy's still bad too . . . she doesn't want to sleep in her cot . . . after 2 nights of Alice being in my bed I was cranky ALL DAY . . . I need a good night's sleep . . . tonight she cried it out while I felt guilty - running up and down stairs . . . something's gotta give

. . . and coming soon a post about blogging, comments and opinions . . . with a warning to all that I moderate comments before they are published . . . still cross . . . it wouldn't be good to challenge me right now . . .

NAPPY RASH **GRAPHIC POST**

. . . no laughing matter . . . Alice woke screaming . . . one of those urgent, no time to waste, 'get here' cries . . . inconsolable . . .

My poor baby, screaming, inconsolable, writhing, so awful to watch.

Eventually I got her to listen to me (I love that she's old enough to understand more now), I asked if she was hurting, 'Yes,', I asked if it was her bottom hurting, 'Yes,' I explained that she needed 'mebcim', 'Yes,' and that she had to calm down to take it - amazingly through the hard crying she managed to calm sufficiently to take the syringe of the pink stuff (God Bless the Pink Stuff!) and then the crying ramped up again. When I could get her to focus I explained that poo (I'd felt a lot of wind!) would make her bottom hurt more and that I wanted to change her nappy. I talked her through what I was doing, the nappy was clean, I didn't touch but did change it just to be safe, she confirmed that she wanted more cream on and then I got her dressed again. After that she opted to go back in her cot (I was surprised she didn't want to go to 'Mummy's Bed') and she didn't make a peep as I kissed and did the leaving the room routine.

Everyday she amazes me - I'm so proud that she can understand so much and even in so much pain can focus to help me help her through it. Her behaviour through that episode this evening could teach so many adults so much and she's only just 2, incredible.

AWOL BLOGGER

No particular reasons, other than life in general!

Thursday - we gave up on potty training for now. Alice pooed in the bath (first time ever) having vomited on Wednesday evening, I'd reached my limit. She hasn't expressed an opinion on the return of nappies in the daytime, not even sure that she's noticed. She didn't ask about the potty either until last night, when she wanted to sit on it before bedtime, she did the same again tonight but no success either night. I'm happy to have postponed PT for now and unless she shows EVERY sign of being ready we'll leave it until the better weather after Easter next year.

Friday - work, after a very busy week it seemed an achievement just to be there - upright, dressed, clean clothes and awake! After school I dashed around (like a mad thing) to the supermarket and the GPs (collecting pills). I'm not sure where the evening went!

Saturday - friends arrived for a visit. We had a lovely time, lots of fun, playing, sharing, cooking and gossip, great! (More coming in a separate post!)

Sunday - more or less like Saturday, more fun and then goodbyes followed by Alice taking a very long nap!!

Today - a doctor's appointment, osteopath's appointment and tea with more friends. Alice has had a few spots (red, raised but no heads - she scratched them and now they've got scabs), she's still developing more (odd ones and twos, nothing remarkable), an upset stomach and horrendous nappy rash (that bled on Saturday, another first). The Doc checked it all and suspected a mild virus and prescribed a different nappy rash cream. The osteopath's appointment was for me, I go regularly to avoid back problems, I haven't been for a while - which became very clear once S got to work - it was painful at the time and I'm still a bit achy now, I'm going back next week (I hadn't been since September and it was too long a gap!) The tea with friends - super, lovely chats and nice to expand our circle of friends - O is a handsome little chap (only 5 weeks younger than Alice but so petite) and different in every way except being so lovely!

LONG DAYS AND NIGHTS

Alice is better but still not completely well - this is particularly clear during the evenings and at night.

She woke screaming from her lunchtime nap yesterday only 50 minutes after she'd gone to bed. So she was really tired going to bed last night, no fuss, no problem. I went downstairs and continued making 'Thank you' cards for Alice' baptism and birthday presents. About 90 minutes later she started to cry, almost hysterically, I got there as fast as I could and it took over 20 minutes to calm her - very unusual. I hadn't had supper or fed the dogs at this point so once she was properly calm I let her stay in my bed while I went downstairs to sort out food, dogs etc. I was as quick as I could be, when I got back to her she was still wide awake but calm. She made it very clear that she wanted to stay with me so I had an early but restless night - she makes the bed so hot and insists on lying right next to me which makes me even hotter, also she kicks about a lot in her sleep, all that makes for not much sleep. The benefit comes in the morning - when she sleeps longer than she would in her cot.

We're having another quiet day - she's not well enough to go swimming. We had great fun making and tasting chocolate chip muffins this morning and now we're both enjoying her nap!