HOMESTUDY - THIRD VISIT

This week we went through the first Homestudy - the section about me and noted the areas that needed editing or rewriting. We discussed most of the revisions along the way. Nearly 2 and a half hours of almost non-stop talking (mostly me) and poor SW only got 2 cups of tea, I was too busy talking to stop and make tea!

This week my SW was very encouraging about my parenting skills and reassured me about Panel. It was a very constructive visit - with the first Homestudy I expected it to be intrusive and while there are some very personal issues to be discussed I actually find it a cathartic experience - at the same time I'm sad that this will be my final experience of paperchasing. It's odd, I don't particularly enjoy the paperchase, but it's the part of the process over which I have the most control.

As this HS is being done within 5 years of the first it's only an 'Update' that's needed. Though it seems like we're revisiting every area. It's a very different experience than last time - and not just because I've a new SW. Last time I was hesitant and bowed to the knowledge of the professionals, this time I have the experience and the support networks, I'm much more confident, more driven (I know the joy and the challenges of adoption), I'm ready for the paperwork and I feel more in control. I also feel like I'm ready to fight - not sure WHO I'm fighting, but I feel like I have to fight, to strive, to be able to bring this baby home - it's not an aggressive fight, just a determined one.

Adoption doesn't happen by accident, you have to REALLY want it for it to happen. Alice will know how much she was wanted because I did it for her and then did it again after I had her. Little Sis will know how much she was wanted because of this blog and because despite knowing the challenge that it is to adopt, I did again for her. Hopefully by the time Little Sis comes along Alice will be old enough to appreciate the experience and for it to give her another perspective on my journey to her as well.

Next time (in 2 weeks - having next week to visit one of the referees while I have a week-off for Alice's baptism) we'll discuss how Alice's presence has changed my life - I think it's going to be an even longer meeting!!

HOMESTUDY NO 2

My first SW visit is on Sunday.

Meanwhile I've got some paperwork to do. The Head of Adoption Team visited last Wednesday to complete some paperwork and sign forms. He left me with a form to do, 'Like last-time.' I glanced at the form while he was still here, I didn't remember it. I started completing the form during one of Alice's lunchtime naps, I definitely didn't have to do this last time - though the information was covered during the Homestudy process. Ugh, it's a long form and requires lots of detail - 1 page alone needs life and family events, education, qualifications, employment and all addresses for the whole of my childhood, the next requires the equivalent for the whole of my adult life. It's taken me several hours just to do those 2 pages (ended up being 4 A4s of word processing!)

The plan had been to start the HS but to get the checks done more immediately - enhanced CRB and medical. The medical was to be sent to the medical officer for consultation and then presented to an early Panel (before the rest of the HS), probably in November. Today I rang the GPs for an appointment to complete the medical - they can't fit it in until at least mid November and haven't even given me an exact date yet. Last time round Panel didn't have a problem with me being single or with my diabetes, but they did have a problem with those issues when combined, I did pass without issue but I think it caused a heated discussion. This time round (the Head of SS knowing what a worrier I am) I think that he wanted to remove the doubt so that (hopefully) having passed the medical part before the Panel that I attend and so reduce the stress of Panel Day.

So the news of the medical being delayed was a worry to me. I rang and spoke to the Head of the Adoption Team. He's happy to continue the process without Panel's go-ahead - I think that it was a cautious approach for obvious reasons, including reducing the stress of Panel Day for me. (Having reviewed the archives I realise that I've never documented my first experience of Panel - that will be rectified shortly.)