Another quiet day at home, except for a quick trip to the supermarket.Why so many quiet days at home? Trying to strengthen some bonds (a few, smallish attachment issues) and to rectify the sleeping issues and get back into a routine.
So for now . . . please don't expect to hold Alice, even if she tries to dive into your arms . . . in the long run it's in her best interests to learn the importance of being with Mummy - it's about creating trust and a sense of identity . . . it's not up for debate . . . it's not negotiable . . . it's Mummy's way or not at all.
An explanation about the photo - Alice spent quite a while this afternoon playing with the farmer and her husband, she was determined that she was going to get them to stand up, unfortunately she chose a tricky task for carpet, but that didn't stop many minutes of trying.
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1 comment:
Kate,
I think you're really wise to have quiet days at home and to further foster attachment. We've learned that with a very outgoing child like our "A", it's easy to start 'doing' a lot because they just love it! Thankfully our "A" hasn't had any major issues at all with attachment, but I think that is down to having kept to a rigid and balanced schedule since being home from China. Even now, we have Mondays and Fridays each week that are "free". Today we're home just chillin' out after a full weekend and it's good that we don't have to rush off to a planned activity. It's nice not to have an overloaded schedule and children like Alice and our "A" just 'want' to do so much, so it's tempting to oblige, but you're doing the right thing!
I've noticed that now we're home 18 months, our "A" is SO attached and loving and getting possessive of us, which is fantastic. And although she's always friendly and welcoming towards others, she's now more clingly to me in uncertain situations and if things are a bit overwhelming (e.g. noisy, crowded etc.) until she senses that I feel it's 'okay'.
She's in Nursery Tues. and Thurs mornings, and Wed. morning we have Jo Jingles. We gave up Tumbletots and Swimming for this term (just too much expectation to have such a full week of activities for her, I think).
AND, I absolutley believe that this is one of the reasons she is sleeping so beautifully through the night now. What a shift from last year! I'm really learning how our little ones need so much 'mummy' time without the confusion of lots of other people around them. At least in these early years.
I'm working hard not to be one of those competitive mums, and trying to just 'listen' to our "A"'s needs for intimate time with us, rather than worry that she needs to be 'doing' so much elsewhere.
Enjoy your quiet time! You're such a wonderful mummy!
Ellen xxx
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