Saturday, January 02, 2010

EMOTIONS BEFORE ADOPTING

K commented:
"I am SO darned impressed with your mindset, I wish I had felt that way while we were waiting on Miss E. I feel that way now, it's so much easier after!"

It was a very kind comment and I'm flattered but I don't want to give the wrong impression. I do feel that when the timing is right that Little Sis will be ready to come home, however it will be much easier to believe that after she's home - I certainly didn't have that level of belief while I was waiting for Alice. Also I'm a worrier, I can worry about almost anything.

The stages before adoption settle into distinct phases - discussion & paperwork, consideration, approval (or not, can't tempt fate), more paperwork (for IA), waiting, waiting, waiting, waiting (yes, it seems to go on forever), uncertainty, referral, elation and uncertainty, and then (finally) handover and the beginning of life together. I will probably worry at every stage of this process - I think that I worry more than most and it's not helped by being single - I carry the responsibility alone and don't have anyone to balance my fears or listen to the worries. All through I will worry about the final outcome and how we'll cope, but I'll worry about completing every stage. It's the uncertainty and the waiting that I find hardest of all.

By restarting the process I've returned to the easier part of the process, where I can actually do something to keep myself busy and constructive towards the adoption, therefore also keeping my emotions under better control. There are plenty of things on my 'to do' list at the moment, there always are, but this evening I did a mock up of our family introduction book. Last January, when I passed Panel for Thailand, I celebrated by buying Alice a princess dress and Little Sis a talking photo album (this one).

Tonight I finally filled the album and recorded a narrative to it, it's not complete but it's something to show the SW and Panel too, but by then there will probably be many different photos in it! It only holds 8 photos, I used what I already had on my hard drive:
  1. Me and Alice (should probably be me alone but I haven't got a good one - another thing for the 'to do' list!)
  2. Alice
  3. Boo and Fuss
  4. Pud
  5. Playroom
  6. Garden including the 'Park'
  7. The nursery - but as it is for Alice, with her named blanket, pandas, Chinese artwork etc
  8. Home
Each photo has a short narrative with it, I want Alice to say some of them but that's going to take practice!

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