It's my birthday on the 10th, the third anniversary of Mum's death on the 12th and the first anniversary of my papers going to China on the 14th - what a week!
In advance of my birthday and Mum's anniversary I can separate the events and look forward to the former - however as they approach they become less distinct and more emotional. I keep hoping that I can keep the two events separate, in order to celebrate the first, but at the moment I don't feel that will be possible this year. Luckily the weak moments seem to happen when I'm alone, so my plan is to keep so busy that I won't have a chance to remember or be alone.
As for the anniversary of my papers going to China that's also a bittersweet milestone. Thank heavens I didn't know this time last year that I'd still be waiting 12 months on! It's a very strange situation really - 12 months ago I thought I'd be receiving referral in about 6 months - and now I expect to be receiving referral in about 6 months. Ironic really - I'm in the same situation as a year ago but yet I know that I've moved on in the queue!! I've got to the stage that if the adoption finally comes through (can't tempt fate and say 'when') that it'll still take me by surprise and I won't be prepared!!
I think that I'll be glad when this week, with all these milestones, is over.
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3 comments:
Kate,
Thank you for sharing.
Kate,
Thank you for sharing.
Kate,
Here is a hug from across the sea. My heart goes out to you at the loss of your mum and the flood of memories that must come with the annivesary.
I saw a show here, in the US, on Oprah , with a guest who wrote a book about her life called Saving Graces, I think...
She lost a son, and joined an online grief group. There she met a man who was expecting his first son, and deeply grieving the loss of his mother.
She wrote him the most eloquent letter, as a mother, to a son (her own son had passed away). She filled the letter wih the words she knew a mother would want to speak into her son's life if she was alive to speak.
She spoke about her hope for her son to have joy in life and that he would anticipate the birth of his own son with wonder.
It made me cry to hear it, because it was a mother's heart for her child...no matter what age.
Hugs to you from a mom who also has lost her own mother,
Amy C from your DTC group
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