PATIENCE

Waiting for something is an inherent part of human nature. It is something that you have had to deal with ever since you first came into this world.

An infant waits to be held, fed, changed
A student waits for recess, lunch, summer vacation
An adult waits for payday, vacation, promotion

The above list is obviously just a small sampling of what we have all had to wait for during our lives. However, as adoptive parents or parents-to-be, our patience has faced a new challenge.

When a woman becomes pregnant, we all know that the 'wait' for birth is roughly 9 months. Sure, there can be complications or circumstances where the timing might change, and the child might be born sooner or later than this timeframe, but for the vast majority of pregnancies, the parents-to-be have a general idea of when to expect the child to enter their lives. You can pretty much schedule your vacation around it.

Adoption is different.

With adoption, you are at the mercy of others from the very moment that you request the application from your chosen agency. You are forced to rely upon their response time processing your request, as well as the time that it takes to get their approval back to your mailbox. Next, you must weave your way through a mound of paperwork, resulting in more challenging waiting periods involving social workers, local, state, and government officials, as well as the Chinese government.

And when you have finally completed all of the required paperwork, the real wait begins.

There is little that can be said to you during this part of the wait that will make the waiting any easier. In contrast, what is said to you can -and usually does- add to the pain of the wait itself. "When will you get a picture?", "When will you know?", "Where is she?", etc. While most of the comments are meant in good faith, the bottom line answer to all of these questions is: you just don't know! You can narrow things down by selecting a waiting child, but you will still be unable to answer the "but when will you travel to bring your child home?" question.

So much is out of our hands as adoptive-parents-in-waiting, and yet we all strive to have some sort of feeling that we are in control. It is this struggle for control that often drives us crazy while we wait.

The last thing that you want to hear is someone saying to you, "The wait will be more than worth it!". In fact, you sometimes want to hit the next person that says that to you.

As taken from: www.redthreadkids.org