MY GIRL - LOVES FIFI!

Thanks GMA and KJ,M and C - for all of Alice's B-day pressies, she loves them all but is particularly interested in the ones with buttons that make noises! (Look closely, in a lot of the photos she's making Fifi talk by pushing the flower!)

MY GIRL - JUST LIKE HER MUM!

. . . just look at her chins!

A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER

It's cold. It's not yet 4pm but the skies are dark. It's raining. It's raining hard, hard enough to be distracting.

Miserable weather.

It's making me feel colder than it really is.

OBSESSED

. . . by books! Alice adores them, especially the textured ones, but also turning the pages. Every book in the toy bag has to be put on a pile and then every book in the pile has to be read, then she'll look through them again on her own - really studying the pages and taking it all in. Show her a book and you'll get the biggest grin and the 'groaning' noise that relates to absolute joy.

Fabulous.

HEALTH UPDATE

Me: had a chest X-ray on Monday, results show asthma is bad in right lung, taking steroid inhaler and now have 4th prescription for antibiotics (in last 6 weeks). Still coughing alot - especially when I talk!!

Alice: pretty wheezy, on antibiotics since Monday, running a temperature on and off, quite happy but is crying quite easily at the moment and finding it tricky to get off to sleep. Still lovely.

Daisy: off antibiotics, back on arthritis meds, still seeking attention more than she has for a long while, posture better, looking much better, appetite still not quite what it was (which has been disconcerting) but improving.

TODAY SUMMED UP IN AN OUTFIT

. . . but which one? It's a total coincidence, I only noticed hours after putting Alice to bed! Let's just say that the antibiotics are taking their toll on Alice's digestive tract - necessitating a change of outfit!

CO-ORDINATING

As L pointed out Alice's shoes match her highchair - I'd never noticed that! But I had noticed that the highchair matches the curtains - so you'd better watch out, come to CBH and you may be forced into wearing navy check or gingham!!

MUCH FAVOURED TOY!

It's an aeroplane, a ride on toy, a push along, a shape sorter, the propeller spins and lights up AND it plays music and talks to you! It's a complete toy shop in one toy, a home entertainment system for a 1 year old!!

Alice loves it. This toy was the final incentive to learning to connect pushing the button with the outcome - she's now so nonchalant about reaching round to push the button she wants, without even looking. She likes feeling the different textures, watching the spinning lights, bopping to the music but best of all - bashing 2 of the shapes together.

SADNESS IN BLOGGY WORLD

. . . because so many of my blogging friends are taking a break or signing off - you know who you are, I'll miss you.

TYPICAL SCENES FROM SUPPER

One foot resting on the underside of the tray.

















Dog on the scrounge.


















Watching her reflection in the oven door!


















Food in both hands.


















"I'm full, you want some Mum?!"

NO HAT REQUIRED!

Hair washed last night. All fell down with no 'help' from a hat!

TICKERS

I love the tickers on the blog . . . sometimes I refresh just to see who's been visiting.

I've noticed a few regular visitors from abroad, but today's blog is just about just a few - a visitor from Ebbw Vale in Australia. Why this one . . . because there's another Ebbw Vale about 25 minutes drive from home, it's where I go to get my hair cut! It's a town at the top of the Valleys, it's had a hard time in recent years with the closing of the steel industry there, but now it's being revamped with the help of funding from WAG and EU etc.

The other visitors are from Singapore - not many until yesterday - 6 in 24 hours.

So please speak up - I'd love to know who you are, how you found me and whether we have anything in common.

ALICE AND HER DOGS

Alice continues to adore 'her' dogs. She pushes me out of the way as we descend the stairs to try and see them more quickly and then groans when she sees them! She's happiest when 'loving' them, patting them or (with encouragement) stroking them - whilst making the 'groaning' sound of great pleasure.

Daisy continues to be confused by Alice, Boozie (Alice's favourite) loves her but likes to sleep up-high so as not to be unexpectedly woken up and Fusspot loves her and interacts with her more often than the others - they continue to have a friendly relationship and tease each other with each other's toys!

6 MONTH POST PLACEMENT REPORT!

It hasn't actually been 6 months, but the report should be in China by the 6 month anniversary. So J, my SW, came to see us yesterday, Alice worked her charm and J continues to think (quite correctly in my view!) that Alice is amazing!

Photos are from before J's visit. Alice had fun spinning in Mummy's chair and then found an important letter, which she then proceeded to eat! Luckily I'd just printed it off, so another was easily obtained.

THE WAY TO A MUMMY'S HEART

. . . send her lovely photos of her baby. Thanks D.

THERE WAS SOME GOOD NEWS TONIGHT

. . . but it's hush hush for now. Just to say that I'm pleased and relieved!

Sorry, not even going to label it, no clues.

PLEASE HELP!

Computer crashed.

ALL bookmarks lost. Daily reads, shopping, blogs, Yunnan links . . . EVERYTHING.

Please comment - leave me your blog link and any of your favourites, just let me know if you don't want me to publish it. Johnny, need to hear from you!

DAISY, HEALTH UPDATE

Despite not giving her enough antibiotics, she is slowly getting better. They think that she had a bug that caused the vomiting and that then she aspirated the vomit, causing a chest infection.

She's improved quite a lot since the appointment today. She looks perkier, her ears are up again. She ate much more for supper tonight, begged for more, tried to let herself in after supper and is back to nudging my hand for scraps and affection. It's lovely to see her getting better, I hope it continues. Alice loves the dogs, I love my dogs, this one's particularly special.

SHAMBLES

This morning I felt like a one woman disaster zone.

For the 4th or 5th Monday in a row I had a doctor's appointment. Last week Alice had a chest infection but I was apparently clear, despite the fact I was coughing quite a lot and feeling off colour. Alice finished her antibiotics yesterday. Today my lovely GP wasn't sure if I had a chest infection - but she'd heard me coughing for 10+ minutes before the appointment and knew that I still wasn't well (haven't been since mid October and I'm more than bored by it now). More antibiotics - the third course in a month, hopefully this lot will work! (Before anyone flames me with comments about over use of antibiotics and creating resistance etc please remember that I'm diabetic and so I tend to get infections more easily and it takes more to get rid of them too.)

From the doc's we went straight to the vet's - luckily the doc's were running close enough to time so the timings worked well. Alice's Bugaboo looked a little lop-sided, the seat doesn't always engage properly, I noticed the problem but didn't rectify it (thought it would be OK for 10 minutes). Got into surgery, discovered I'd misread Daisy's antibiotics and had been giving 1 dose each day instead of 2. Then seat unit on the buggy collapsed - Alice was left, strapped in, standing up! Shambolic. Slightly ashamed but more amused!!

FINALLY

. . . Strictly . . . the weakest celebrity dancer was voted off. She worked really hard, she tried really hard, but she's not a dancer . . . it was well beyond her time to go. This series has the best group of talented celebrity dancers and is certainly the most controversial . . . excellent entertainment, love it!

SO DIFFERENT!

They are so different - you wouldn't even think that they were the same nationality, they look different, they are totally different builds and they are meeting different milestones.

L is 5 days older than Alice.

So Alice has been reminded that by next Thursday she should be walking a couple of steps unaided, virtually running holding on to a supporting hand and with a vocabulary of at least half a dozen words! In the meantime L has a lot of eating and growing to do!!

And yet, at the same time, they're so similar, so wonderful, so special and so loved.

MY GIRL (REVISED)

Last night I watched a slide show of the photos from the first week in China. Today we watched the video that N took while we met the girls on 1st July. Emotional times. I can't believe that it's only been 4 and a half months, the girls have changed SO much.

One of the wonderful things about today was how easy it was - the girls and the grown-ups relaxed together and just enjoyed being together, great times, special times.

Today is also a significant anniversary for Alice - I spent the week thinking about it and then (luckily) we were so busy that I didn't remember until late in the evening. Today her birth parents will be thinking of their child, today I remember her birth parents and thank them for their bravery. I wish they could know the happiness she brings and the tremendous child that she is, I hope that they have peace with what they did.

ANOTHER SPECIAL VISITOR

N came for tea - to see all of us. Alice got some rough and tumble play, she's a real tomboy and N knows it! He stayed for bath time and Alice had a wonderful time giggling at his antics and silly voices - N enjoyed himself too!

LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR . . .

"The panda is mine . . . keep away from the bear!"

(Actually Alice wasn't too bad about sharing, but she was delighted when I produced panda!!)

P.S. Delighted to hear that another friend now has a panda of her own, A - I hope that you have as much joy from yours as Alice gets from her panda!

THIS WALKER DOESN'T!

"Look, there's the problem - there's an Alice in the way!"

A WONDERFUL DAY!

We had some very special visitors today.

M, C and L came over for the day. They arrived at 11ish and planned to stay til 4ish, luckily they stayed a bit longer. N joined us after lunch and stayed til Alice went to bed.

It was lovely to get our travel group together. L was a little reserved to start with but relaxed very quickly and enjoyed exploring and playing with Alice's toys - she managed to show Alice how to play with some of them, particularly the walking toys!

They both love musical toys and really enjoyed all of Alice's noisy toys, sometimes several were playing at the same time - they both 'bop' to the music, but Alice bops forward and back, while L bops up and down!

They've both grown up incredibly in the 4 and a half months we've known them and they continue to be wonderful and so different - in looks, size, development and so much more.

It was lovely to see them again and just reminds me (again) how special our relationship is - I wonder if China realise that they don't just make (or expand) families, but that they create extended families too?

MY BEDTIME

As I'm sure millions of parents around the world do, I check on Alice as I go to bed. She usually kicks off the duvet in the evening, so I cover her up again when I come to bed.

Tonight, I checked as usual, as usual she'd lost the duvet but she woke as I covered her up again, she woke smiling, my heart melted. I love my baby. That smile this evening more than compensates for the fat lip she gave me this morning - as she lent in, rather quickly, for a brief cuddle, not that any compensation was necessary, but that smile, sweet dreams.

TRADEGY AND STRENGTH

The internet was a great source of knowledge and support while I was researching, completing paperwork, waiting, waiting, waiting, receiving paperwork, doing more paperwork, waiting to travel, travelling, adopting and even now we're home it continues to be an incredible network for adoptive parents.

This week, via 'The Net', I've read about an American couple who were in China. They recently met and adopted their daughter, several days later the father suffered problems with his diabetes, was hospitalised and then died. A tragic situation. To make matters even worse, the US then refused some of the family's paperwork - stating that their situation had changed and so paperwork needed updating. The virtual internet communities started to learn about this problem - they posted the problem and suggested a solution. 1,000s of people bombarded American politicians with phonecalls, they made such a fuss that the politicians would have been daft to ignore the situation, a solution was found and very soon the widow and her daughter will be home.

My heart goes out to this family, my thanks go to all those who took action - the Net has created some wonderful, caring communities.

I MAY LIVE TO REGRET THE LAST POST

At 7.45pm tonight, 60 minutes after being put to bed, Alice was still bopping in the cot, wide awake! I think she may be asleep now, I hope so.

SLEEP BEGETS SLEEP

. . . well for some of us . . . yesterday, Alice only snoozed in the car and wouldn't sleep after lunch, by teatime she was exhausted, so by 6.10pm she'd had her bottle and was listening to her mobile. By 6.20pm she was asleep and didn't wake up until 8am - nearly 14 hours later! Meanwhile, I was awake by her usual time of 7.20am - typical!

CACH REUNION

. . . I'm so excited, now that Alice's home we get to be full members of CACH and so we are eligible to go to the reunion in March. I've booked, now I'm waiting for comments from Carrie, Caron, Ellen, Rosie, Julia, Laura, Siobhan and many others, to know that they'll be there too! Shawn - not sure you can book yet, but do hope that you'll be there.

HOME

Daisy's home, looking thin but interested what the others were barking at, it's lovely to have her home now we've got to work on building her up again.

DECADENCE!

Blogging from my bed!

Before leaving for China I switched to a wireless network at home - partly because I needed to switch providers and partly in case Whatshername was a poor sleeper. Recently I remembered this setup and now I'm online upstairs - meaning my brain can stop racing as I can blog when I remember stuff!

STAYING IN ANOTHER NIGHT

Daisy's ECG showed nothing more than the elevated heart rate. They gave her more fluids and it's down to 140. We debated whether to bring her home tonight but on balance they felt that she's calm and further fluids would help her, so she's staying in for another night and I'll ring tomorrow morning for an update. More tears, a little relief, still stressed.

DAISY

. . . I spoke to the vet this morning. Vomiting has ceased and she's eating fine, but now her heart rate is around 240 (usually about 100) so they're doing an ECG and I'm stressed while waiting for the results.

LETTING GO, JUST A LITTLE!

When I first met Alice she would hold her own bottle, gently over the first few days I took over holding the bottle - to help her with learning that Mummy provides and takes care. But now I've decided that since attachment is beginning, that it's more age appropriate for Alice to have some independence - she's already feeding herself finger foods and so this evening I reminded how to hold the bottle again. She co-operated on holding the bottle, but was less co-operative about having her photo taken!!

Yes - it would be even more age-appropriate if she drank from a sippy cup, but she's extremely reluctant to do so and while she's got a chest infection (yes, again!) I think it's more important that she's drinking as much fluid as possible.

YESTERDAY'S MORE IMPORTANT VISITORS!

D and A came to see us.

A was very good with the dogs (Fusspot was very demanding but also tolerant), Alice was a little perplexed about the whole thing! It was lovely to see them, great to have visitors - especially good to encourage the As' friendship as they will go to the same nursery when I'm prepared to let Alice go a little!

YESTERDAY'S FIRST VISITORS

I was sitting, feeding Alice breakfast, when I noticed we had 3 visitors walking along the hedge (only 1 remained by the time I'd found my camera). One of the things I like about living in the country is some of the outdoor wildlife!

SHE SPEAKS!

. . . but not to me!!

Apparently (for T and her mum), Alice will say, "Up!" But I've never heard it and Alice is definitely not a performing animal and will never do things on command, but will perform for the gallery if SHE feels like it! After being told by T's Mum that Alice said it to her too, I've spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get her to demand 'Up', to no avail.

Our bedtime routine is secure now, sometimes she bathes, sometimes not, but babygrow is always followed by bottle, bag and bed. When we're at home the bottle is always in the rocking chair in her room, she takes 4-5 oz lying in my right arm, her body across mine and then the remains of the bottle sitting up on my tummy facing me. All of the bottle happens whilst listening to a Lullaby CD (thanks E and family) and then we listen to a track or 2 more when she's finished drinking, while we rock. Over the last 2 weeks or so (while home) I've noticed that the final tracks (whatever's playing but the music after the bottle) I'm actually getting very physical hugs, initiated by Alice, 1 or 2 tracks is becoming 3 or 4 while I revel in my daughter's love and let her know just how much it is reciprocated. My heart swelled even more tonight when she said (when prompted but without being upset), "Mum, mum, mum!" over and over again.

The very best ending to a very stressful day.

I STILL HAVE 3 DOGS

. . . phew!

Daisy's had blood tests, they were worried she was jaundiced. Bloods showed slight elevations on a couple of liver results, they think not connected with vomiting bug and may need repeating and investigating when she's over this. They think just a bug - but they've kept her in for obs and fluids for at least 24 hours but I think more likely til Friday.

Yes, I worried, yes, I cried, no, I'm not embarassed by the tears or admitting to them, in the end I was crying with relief.

More later.

WORRIED . . .

Daisy was my Mum's dog, but she's mine now, I wasn't sure that at 9 years old she'd adapt to a change of owner, but she did. She's 13 and a half now.

She's sick . . . got a vet's appointment for tomorrow afternoon . . . she's sitting on the sofa, shaking, she didn't eat any supper . . . think you can guess how I'm feeling . . . dreading tomorrow.

THE ONLY DRAWBACK

Alice is such a lovely child to parent that it makes me worry about No2.

No2 is going to seem like an evil child, even if she isn't. Why? Because Alice is so good and so easy (at the moment) that any child falls short in comparison - setting No2 up for failure maybe years before she is born.

But No2 will happen. I want children, not just a child. I believe that Alice needs a sibling. But not yet, I want time to enjoy Alice and I'd like my children not to be too close in age - I want to enjoy them as individuals.

I hope that I don't live to regret these comments.

4 MONTHS HOME

. . . yesterday. I didn't forget but don't have anything new to add.

Alice continues to be wonderful. The love is growing. The bonds are strengthening. The understanding is increasing.

Adoption is an incredible process.

MORE ABOUT GIGGLES!

In response to a comment . . . here's the lowdown on Giggles. (Also in response to that comment, I KNOW you're girls would love them!!)

Firstly Alice adores soft toys, Giggles especially. I think he's lovely as he's so soft and also very softly stuffed. He's only called Giggles as that was the name on the tag from the stall where we bought him.

The nitty-gritty:

• He's JELLYCAT
• TRUFFLES range, they do lots of animals - pets, farm and some wilder ones too!
  
• Lots of the range come in 2 sizes, 38cm is £12.50 and 71cm is £31.50 - Alice's is the larger size
• After lots of research I discovered that they also do a HUGE size, it's about £95 and is about 120cm, but it's only available as a sheep in the UK and a dog in the US! I'm still considering this as a rug for Alice's bedroom.
• They're available all over the place online, but I use this website as delivery is free.
  

INTRODUCING GIGGLES

One of the reasons for last week's gallivanting was to go to a Christmas fair at Olympia. A and I have been to the same fair for several years, it's a good way to get some Christmas shopping done fairly easily. Not this year. The fair was quite disappointing - many stalls we've seen before but with several old favourites missing and the majority of the new stalls were either selling cashmere or jewellery, which were already well represented. Not sure we'll go again next year.

However, I did manage to buy some things, all for Alice! The purchases included a lovely navy and cerise cardigan and matching hat (helps hair stay flat and as it's cotton it isn't itchy), some things for her room that I would have bought anyway but it was good to see them in reality before ordering them and Giggles! Giggles? Giggles is a rather large, flat, extremely soft panda - Alice adores him. She was very good throughout the day at the fair. After lunch I put Giggles and Alice on the floor, she did have a bit of a crawl around but spent most of her time lying on top of Giggles, head butting him and burying her face into his very soft fur. He also doubles up nicely as an alternative version of a travel rug, keeping Alice toasty-warm and very happy.

LEARNING THAT SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE!

Alice, first thing Wednesday morning at the H's.

Our morning routine - stay in bed as long as possible then up for a bottle. As we were away Alice had her morning bottle in bed with me - unusually she lay in the middle of the bed and we had a cuddle for 5 minutes or so after she'd finished the bottle - I relished that time. With her muslin still draped across her like a bandanna she had a suck on Barry Bee's antennae, she looked so lovely that I had to take a photo and look at the hair (with the occasional help from a hat, it's staying flat!)

THINK AGAIN MOTHER!!

This photo is from last week, it makes me smile.

The television was baracaded by the footstool and baby walker, but Alice breached the baracade to get to her favourite - video / DVD cases, not to watch, just to chew!!

She looks so innocent. Huh! Think again!

HOME AGAIN!

As you may have gathered by now, we've been gallivanting again, but now we're home again!

We had a super time and saw lots of special people, A and family, Great-God-Mother M, Grandad, Uncle W and Aunty J and GMJ and her family.

We got back quite late this evening (for Alice anyway), she's fast asleep in bed, I'm catching up on email, yahoo group news, referrals and blogs, then I'm going to have a cuddle with my hounds - judging from their reaction when we returned I think that they're pleased we're back too!!

It's lovely to spend time with friends but it's wonderful to be home (even if it is a little chilly!) More detail tomorrow!

MORE CATCHING UP - FIREWORKS

We went to D, D and A's for a special firework display, special quiet fireworks. Alice watched and smiled with the pretty colours. Another 'thing' that I wouldn't have started yet, but she enjoyed it. Before the end of the box, A had had enough and walked to the inside door. D was kind enough to cook supper too, what else for Bonfire Night but baked potatoes, bangers and beans, yum!

SHAWN HAS HER REFERRAL!

Congratulations to all the Tribe, you just got a new daughter / little sister! We're delighted for you.

They've been very patient, it's taken nearly 23 months from LID (the official date that their dossier entered the queue). No-one knew then how long it would take. Now the wait starts a new phase, today waiting to see her face, from tomorrow waiting to complete paperwork, waiting for the CCAA to issue travel authorities, waiting to travel - but there's a little girl waiting in China and it will all be worth it, what a Christmas present!

YESTERDAY'S BIG NEWS!

Alice stood up, on her own and held her balance for a while. She pulled up on the dishwasher door while I was unloading it - I turned around and there she was standing! Her feet were at least 30cm apart and she was truly standing in an 'A' shape. I didn't say anything as I didn't want to put her off! After she fell over I did the happy dance and she joined in the clapping!!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

I checked my emails this morning and there was one from a friend (someone I met during the process), the email was sent at 3am, but she had good reason to be up - she'd just had it officially confirmed that she's made the cutoff date for the latest batch of referrals. (November referrals have got to 8th December 2005 - that's 37 days in the last 5 months.)

S and her family are IIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another baby (or 2) coming home to her family - about time too.

MEETING ALICE

On one of my Yahoo groups they're discussing MMM at the moment.

MMM? Magical Meeting Moment.

I think back to that day in Kunming quite often, but when I went back to check the blog I realised that I've never blogged about it. So here's how I remember it 4 months on, I might review the DVD of it soon so I may edit this again later.

We met in the lobby of the hotel. The Americans were also massing to get on a large coach, they left before us. We travelled in a minibus. The journey was shorter than expected but every moment was terrifying yet exhilarating - wondering what was about to happen, how she would be, how I would cope, etc. Most of the journey was on large roads 6 lanes wide, then we turned off into a local area, small roads, small shops and then a turn into what seemed to be a development of blocks of flat with turquoise paint (not sure if they were doors or balconies). We passed a couple of blocks and then turned left and stopped at the end of the cul-de-sac - I recognised the entrance to the block on the right - we were there.

Moments later we'd be ushered through the large metal door (that clanged shut very often through our time at this office - a sound I will always remember), we were in a concrete stairwell. We walked up half a flight of stairs and into a room on the right. The room was a fair size with a black leather sofa and some wooden chairs on one side and a large table with more chairs on the other. We were met by an official who welcomed us and checked our ITTs and passports - we were told us these babies were the first from the province to be adopted into the UK in her memory (actually we think that there might be a 9 or 10 year old who lived in Yorkshire after her adoption - but we've never found them so we're not sure). We signed some paperwork and filled in some basic details, including the baby's new name (I didn't complete that part until after I met her!) We were told the babies would be with us in 5 minutes.

Meanwhile the metal front door continued to clang. We could hear a large group of Americans who already had their babies in a room across the landing - they were loud and some of the babies were crying. We were joined by an American lady who was going to be a single mum, she was travelling with her sister, her guide was loud. She came into the room while we were waiting but her baby came in before ours - we got to see her handed over, literally a name check and passed across, I think it helped us prepare. N said every time a baby cried or the door shut we looked like rabbits in the headlights, it was terrifying waiting for them. We could hear movement outside our room, footsteps on the stairs, babies crying, Chinese voices - there was a lot going on that afternoon.

Then, suddenly, 2 nannies were there, each holding a baby. An Hao Ming was in the arms of the second nanny - I remember recognising her and thinking that M and C would be first, but then they said 'An Hao Ming' - I don't know if they were addressing me or speaking between themselves, but I stood up, held out my arms and said, 'Yes, that's my baby!' and they handed her to me. I sat down again with her facing me on my lap, she put her hands on my cheeks, I said 'Hello, I'm your Mummy.' Then I whispered in her ear that I loved her and would she like to be called Alice? I felt incredibly turbulent - worried about how she would be, how she would react whilst trying to stay calm and keep the tears from flowing. Not crying was hard - it was so emotional but I really felt I had to be calm to keep Alice calm. I wasn't calm but I didn't really cry - Alice remained wide eyed and observant. She played with the keys and other toy that I took.

Several minutes later the officials asked if it was the right baby, it was - but by then she was mine whether or not she was the baby I'd been expecting this one was mine! We got to meet the orphanage director, except she wasn't, she was actually responsible for the babies being adopted internationally or paperwork - we never did meet the actual CWI director. She was a tall, thin woman in her late 20s or early 30s, she had buck teeth, glasses and long hair with a long fringe. She was informative about 'the baby' but wouldn't answer my specific questions about her - referring to the information sheet I'd been given or excusing herself as there were 9 babies being adopted that day. She also passed comment to the guide that she thought that the CCAA had matched the right baby to the right family - she also told him not to translate that!

During this time several more people had entered the room and it had become quite crowded - I think most of them were Canadian and several received older children. Many families were created in that building that afternoon, but Alice and I were mostly in our own little bubble despite the noise and emotion.

Over 30 minutes after we received the babies we were free to go. We loaded up the minibus and as we were driving off we spotted 2 nannies from the orphanage, I held up Alice and we could see one say her Chinese name, quickly we asked for the bus to be stopped while we took a photo.

I'd been told by the 'director' that Alice was an easy baby - I was sceptical about that, thinking that might just be a rouse to get me to accept her, but actually I think she was right!

We returned to the same apartment block the following day to complete the adoptions - that time we were in the other room and had a lot of paperwork to do - I wore Alice in a hip carrier that day whilst trying to complete the papers on the other side (away from Alice).

BUTTONS!

Alice's latest conquest is buttons. Buttons on toys and objects rather than clothes. She's noticing the cause and effect of pushing buttons, she's learning which buttons do what and is now consciously choosing which ones to push. She's particularly fond of the piano that will play tunes and the new ride-on plane (she likes the spinning propeller with lights).

On the subject of toys, her current favourites continue to be books, play balls (especially bashing 2 together or eating them) and anything that makes a noise!

QUIET DAY

We needed a quiet day after yesterday's adventures.

We had plans but they got postponed, so we had a quieter day than anticipated. Good day, time at home, for Alice playing with toys and tormenting dogs and for me getting domestic bits done (dishes and laundry!)

The local golf club (and the pub too, I think) had their firework display this evening. Alice slept through it. Unfortunately Daisy was outside when it started - she's stuck close by ever since, I don't understand how she can hear the fireworks when she can't hear me! I'm not sure if Boo was frightened by the display, but she took the opportunity to have a lovely cuddle. Fusspot was a little confused but actually sat on my lap and watched for a while! Me? Fireworks aren't my favourite as I don't like such loud noises and with dreadful nerves they always make me jump! Tonight's display was perfect for me, I could watch from inside (so I didn't get cold or stiff) and they were far enough away to see the lights first and then the bangs (so they didn't surprise me) - an excellent solution!

78TH COUNTRY

. . . welcome to a reader in Castries, St Lucia!

The ironic thing about posting a welcome is that many of the new countries have only visited once - so don't come back to see that they've been spotted.

WOULD IT BE WRONG . . .

. . . to put your baby to bed wearing a hat to avoid 'morning bedhead'?

(Seriously I understand that it wouldn't be safe for temperature regulation reasons, would never do it, but it is tempting after this morning's quiff!)

DESPITE TODAY'S WARDROBE CHOICES

All pink, pink elephant top, pink leggings, pink tights . . . even pink snowsuit . . . someone in the restaurant at lunchtime commented that 'he' was eating so well (Alice was also wearing a cerise bib).

What more can I do?

JUST BECAUSE . . .

. . . there can never be too many photos of my gorgeous girl and I was amazed how much she actually observed.

TO ADD TO THE MIX . . .

. . . the fireworks have started, Daisy's turned to jelly and is sticking very close to me. Hopefully by keeping her close we'll avoid the hyperventilating and vomiting that will follow if she gets more distressed. Meanwhile Boo's pacing and oofing - as if we didn't already know about the sparklies in the sky.

BUT A SAD EVENING

. . . I can't help it. Today's the anniversary of my step-father's death. I blogged about it last year, you can read it in the archives, or find it here.

I keep hoping that with time and especially now that Alice is home that these anniversaries will get easier, so far they haven't. Despite a wonderful day today I kept having flashbacks to 2001.

When we woke up on Saturday November 3rd 2001 we didn't know what the day would hold. Nick was terminally ill with stomach cancer, we knew he was dying but we thought he had longer to live. I blogged about his final day when I remembered publicly his death last year on the anniversary (privately he's thought of every day), so this year I'll blog about his illness.

Early on in the year he began to have problems eating - they food just didn't go down easily. He went for investigations and on the Wednesday before Easter we were told that he had stomach cancer. At that time we believed that he would have an operation that would be a cure. Days later, after an MRI scan, we were told that the cancer had spread, an operation was no longer the best treatment, he had spots of cancer on his liver and so he would never be cured. They hoped that chemo would put him into remission for a year or 2, then they anticipated that it would recur, more chemo with hopefully another remission - his life expectancy was 3-5 years.

Nick had had a monk's hairline (bald on top) for as long as Mum and I had known him, ironically the aspect of his treatment that he found most difficult was loosing his hair. He never went totally bald, but was left with very fine, white hair, more sparsely spread across the sides and back of his head. The hair that remained was lovely and beautifully soft.

The chemo was brutal. His tumour was small but unfortunately it grew across the entrance to the stomach and so made it difficult for food to get passed. The combination of eating problems and the effects of the chemo were more harsh than anyone could have predicted - less than 9 months after symptoms started and less than 7 months after diagnosis, he was dead. (23 months later Mum died suddenly and unexpectedly, but that's another post.)

He was a gentle gentleman with a wicked sense of humour and a great capacity to love. This year I miss him in yet another way - he would love Alice and would have such fun with her. This year I mourn the relationship that they are both missing.

INCREDIBLE . . .

. . . photos of me on the blog!!

Here's another for good measure.